One thing I can say for certain is that we are no stranger to these dating trends this new era of technology has brought. I mean, I am just trying to get through the day trying to adult, while scrolling through dog videos and occasionally checking Hinge and Bumble notifications for new matches.. Now there is another trend called “Love Bombing” that we have to deal with? Why is dating so hard?
What is this, and how do I know it’s happening to me?
Alright, so this trend doesn’t sound so bad, why would anyone complain about being loved and adored? I’m basically taking out of this that when I send a text to my significant other they text right back, or when I am with them they shower me attention? I’m down! Wrong…
Unfortunately this is a bit more than good morning texts and I miss you’s. Apparently, there are people who become obsessed, and will manipulate you within the relationship without you even noticing! They may provide you with tons of gifts, always want to spend time together, and even promise you endless happiness of dream homes, kids, and a dog.
Arielle Tschinkel explains the situation as “You may feel as if you’ve found the most romantic person on the planet.” in her article “8 signs you’re being love bombed.”
However, things take a turn for the worse when this behavior is immediately followed by aggression, possessiveness, and dependence.
One true tell tale sign that you might be in a Love Bombing relationship is that the affection from that individual comes on strong and quickly, mostly at the start of the relationship. While also, those feelings can turn controlling or violent when combated or ignored.
So how do we deal when discovering we are victim to Love Bombing?
Carefully, because well, we are dealing with a cup of psycho and a side of narcissism if you ask me!
1.) Distance Yourself
Like the start of any new relationship, both of you are excited. You’ve crossed paths with someone new, that you’re are genuinely interested in. However, what can happen is the diving in head first and leaving everything else on the shore affect. Don’t lose sight of who you are, and who you’ve become up to this point. Spend time with your friends, schedule dates with your family, make room for “me time” and slowly introduce this new person into your life.
2.) Ask your friends and family for advice
If you’re starting to notice something strange about your partner’s behavior, sit down and discuss it with a trusted source. Explain to them your situation, and how you are feeling. It’s also important that if ever the behavior becomes emotionally violent, that you have someone else who understands the situation. In his blog for Psychology Today, Dale Archer expresses how, “Love bombing works because humans have a natural need to feel good about who we are, and often we can’t fill this need on our own.”
3.) Move on
I understand this may seem like an obvious one, and much easier said than done, but I would like you to think about all of the people who have come and gone throughout your life so far. How many have actually stayed, or had significant impacts on who you have become? Do you still speak with all of these individuals, or do you continue to make room for new minds to take effect on yours?
All I am saying is that no individual should have to endure this crazy and damaging whirlwind of “Love Bombing.”
We have too many things we have to deal with on a daily basis that are difficult and mind boggling in and of themselves!
So if you start experiencing off the wall gifts, sweet nothings in your ear, a promise of the perfect life together, and a dog named Max, by the second date, I suggest you skip all precautions and just get the hell out!