4 Ways to Deal With Someone Who is Breadcrumbing You

breadcrumbing

Another day another dating trend. Millennials are notorious for driving these dating actions that are frankly just savage.

Coming into the dating world today is a mind-bending illusion that will either leave you guessing what is going on in your relationship, have you blind to red flags and emotional instability, or in this case of breadcrumbing have you wondering if you’re even in a relationship?

What is this trend, and how do I know if I’m following the trail?

According to Urban Dictionary breadcrumbing is when the “crush” has no intentions of taking things further, but they like the attention. So they flirt here or there, send dm/texts just to keep the person interested, knowing damn well they’re staying single.

Breadcrumbing is difficult to wrap your head around, as most people who engage in it have had some practice messing with people’s mind and emotions. These people don’t know what they want, and unfortunately the other individual will pay for it. 

This trend occurs through many different channels of communication and the more you’re connected with that individual the worse. “Breadcrumbers” display this action through text messages, DM’s, Snaps, posts and any other form of digital communication that will perk your interests and keep you wondering if they really are interested in you.

They have impeccable timing when sending these messages, knowing exactly when and how often to come into your line of site, and the minute you give in they get bored and disappear. Sounding familiar?

3 Signs it’s happening to you!

No. 1: Flakiness; they have no obligation towards whatever “this” is between you two and will have no problem cutting the communication with you or bailing on invitations to meet up.

No. 2: Lack of effort; a close relative to flakiness. 99% of the time their text messages will consist of a few words, like a simple “what are you up to?” or “my day was okay,” is about all you can expect from them.

No. 3: The relationship will not evolve; this final sign should cross you like a Mike Tyson hook! No doubt at this point you’re simply asking yourself 20x over why they hell you even try or give a damn? Your emotions are going in opposite directions, your mind is driven mad by the lack of accountability and you realize now that you’re frustrated, and you haven’t even spent time with this person.

Tip on how to track breadcrumbing

Let me ask you, if you were to visualize the effort contributed, and the amount of time spent with this person what sort of representation would you get? 

In a healthy relationship you could expect an upward trend, balanced by the same effort levels, and time spent together.

On the complete opposite spectrum in the land of chaos and uncertainty. You would see that your stats are made up of sudden highs and lows, extremes of when that individual would appear, disappear then reappear in the relationship.

If you’re wondering how you can track these metrics, and see this model as it correlates to your dating life, check out our free app HeartVisor.

Alright, so now you’re equipped with visuals and you know what’s up and can track these discrepancies in this, well I would call it a relationship, but you know. 

Like many things in life, you must get uncomfortable, and challenge the other individual. Take pride in yourself, stand up and deal!

How do you respond to breadcrumbing?

No. 1: Ghosting; yeah, I know using a dating trend to deal with another dating trend seems well, counter intuitive. But you must let them know that your life doesn’t revolve around them, and you’ve got other things to do then to just wait around and respond to their Instagram comment.

No. 2: Confrontation; bring out the inner beast that doesn’t take shit, and call them out on their lack of commitment. Ask them what’s up with the flakiness or lack of effort lately? Don’t waste time nor your emotions on being nice!

No. 3: Go with the flow; this is a tough one, because you can’t let yourself get attached. You must feel the vibe and relax. If you hook up, great! Continue dating and manage your emotions. Don’t waste too much time trying to text and “get to know them.” Deal with your everyday life and schedule out days to spend time together doing something!

No. 4: Cut the umbilical cord; if you are still facing these problems, and must keep asking yourself if they are going to commit, or give a damn, I think its time to walk away! Be honest with yourself and understand that you need to find someone that you have a chance at building a connection with. If you’re going to put in the time, shouldn’t it be worth it?!

And if you’re breadcrumbing stop, it’s not healthy for anyone.

On the complete opposite spectrum in the land of chaos and uncertainty, you could see that your stats are made up of sudden highs and lows, extremes of when that individual would appear, disappear then reappear in the relationship.

If you’re wondering how you can track these metrics, and see this model as it correlates to your dating life, check out our free app HeartVisor.

Alright, so now you’re equipped with visuals and you know what’s up and can track these discrepancies in this, well I would call it a relationship, but you know. 

Like many things in life, you must get uncomfortable, and challenge the other individual. Take pride in yourself, stand up and deal!

How do you respond to breadcrumbing?

No. 1: Ghosting; yeah, I know using a dating trend to deal with another dating trend seems well, counter intuitive. But you must let them know that your life doesn’t revolve around them, and you’ve got other things to do then to just wait around and respond to their Instagram comment.

No. 2: Confrontation; bring out the inner beast that doesn’t take shit, and call them out on their lack of commitment. Ask them what’s up with the flakiness or lack of effort lately? Don’t waste time nor your emotions on being nice!

No. 3: Go with the flow; this is a tough one, because you can’t let yourself get attached. You must feel the vibe and relax. If you hook up, great! Continue dating and manage your emotions. Don’t waste too much time trying to text and “get to know them.” Deal with your everyday life and schedule out days to spend time together doing something!

No. 4: Cut the umbilical cord; if you are still facing these problems, and must keep asking yourself if they are going to commit, or give a damn, I think its time to walk away! Be honest with yourself and understand that you need to find someone that you have a chance at building a connection with. If you’re going to put in the time, shouldn’t it be worth it?!

And if you’re breadcrumbing stop, it’s not healthy for anyone.

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